Why Scout?

Kids with Asperger’s are usually considered quite intelligent. Harris is no exception. Before being diagnosed with Asperger’s he was diagnosed as Gifted. In other words, Harris is smart enough to know that he’s different and that, although his peers are kind, invitations to parties or sleepovers are . . . well . . . they aren’t. Harris knows there should be friends in his life but the making of them, and the keeping of them, is a formidable challenge.

Harris has had wonderful support from our school system (Blue Valley) and from Mike Sumler at the Joshua Center, a non-profit advocacy center for children and families on the Autism Spectrum. His councilors and teaching teams have helped him better grasp social interaction and figure out the “norms” of conversation. I swear this kid understands feelings and motivations better than most adults, so when he wants to talk about how he’s doing and what he needs, I listen.

When the puppy was offered to us, Kevin and I didn’t tell the kids there was a “for real” dog out there. We played the What If game instead. Cameron, our oldest, pointed out college was 2 years away. “I’m almost out of here. Do what you want,” he said. Our youngest son, Kellen, surprised us both by stating that he didn’t feel he was ready for the responsibility of raising a dog. Wha?? Just when you thought you knew them.

And I thought I’d known Harris until he came into my bedroom while I was folding clothes and shared his heart.

“I just want another chance,” he said and tears came into his eyes. “I don’t think our family pets like me very much. They don’t sit with me. I’d like to have a puppy. I’d try hard and I’d raise her and teach her and house train her. We’d spend time together and I could talk to her. She wouldn’t mind if I told her about my ideas. She’d be my friend.” He took a deep breath. “And I’d call her Scout.”

All I could think to say to this outpouring was, “Why Scout?”

Harris smiled. “After Jean Louise Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird,” he said. “I really like that story and my dog will be like Scout. She’ll be brave.” Harris thought for a minute.  “And she’ll be smart.” He tilted his head. “And she’ll probably get into trouble sometimes.”

So I could either laugh or cry and my son wanted a friend. I remembered that wonderful quote from To Kill a Mockingbird (one of my favorite reads too). It’s when Atticus tells Jem the meaning of courage: “When you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.”

Harris has had the odds stacked against him. Every day he faces a world he doesn’t understand – a world that judges and censors him for being him. To me, the fact that he daily meets this world with a smile, a wicked sense of humor, and without relinquishing who he is, shows a staggering amount of courage. Now he’ll have a brave companion to share the challenges with.