The school year ended today. I love it when the kids are home. Seriously, I do. We have adventures, play games, swim, goof-off. This summer will be extra interesting as Scout’s Therapy Dog training will begin to take shape. Thanks to all of you who gave us location ideas for noises, smells, sights and crowds. We’re working our way through the list and being happily greeted everywhere we go. I know Scout will be thrilled to have Harris with her full time. And, um . . . so will I.
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That’s the big question. Here we have this doggie who needs to experience a ton of environments, scenarios, people, etc. to pass training and become a certified therapy dog, but until she is a Certified Therapy Dog we have no legal muscle to gain access to these environments, scenarios and people. It’s a monster Catch 22. But I understand it. When is the adorable pup a real service dog in training and when is it an excuse for the owner to drag Precious into a nail salon? I’m the first to say I don’t want to experience Barking Dog Solo during my Dinner Out conversation and I definitely don’t want to worry about poop piles at the mall.
People shouldn’t be allowed to take their dogs anywhere because people are dopes. Watch how they let their kids act in a movie theater. Why would they take any more responsibility for the behavior of their pets? That’s why I can’t blame the staff at The Oread when they cocked an eyebrow at my mumbled “she’s a therapy dog in training” lame excuse. They let me slide and come on in with her, but I knew, deep in their hearts, they were saying “Pull the other one. Its got bells on it.”
But I am a responsible owner and Scout is not a Purse Dog, she is, or will be, a Therapy Dog. With The Oread experience fresh in my head, I knew she would have to start looking like one. I went to WireDog. They’ve got everything and in the mini sizes we needed. We chose a “breathable, yet attractive,” mesh vest with “accompanying service designation.” Love It! Appropriately, WireDog warned us that you can’t claim your dog is a Service Animal without it actually being a Service Animal. Understood! We’re not claiming anything we aren’t doing. I could have added the “In Training” tag, but Scout is only so big. Where would it go?
I must say, the Vest is a bit magical – walk it up to any door and the door opens. Just so you know I’m not taking advantage, I always let the business know that we are ‘In Training.’ They can kick us out, but, so far, nobody has. What I’ve gotten is reactions like the guy at KU Edwards coffee shop. He said, “We all have to learn sometime. And she’s soooo cute!”
Who has made my life easy? Who has helped train a Therapy Dog? Who is Covered in Awesome in the KC Metro Area?
Free State Social – Especially Whitney Mathews and Ben Smith! they took the first chance on us and let Scout attend their Social Media Conference. (more in another post)
LaMar’s Donuts – Good donuts and great staff.
KU Edwards Campus – They totally get the need to train and welcomed Scout back anytime!
Prairie Star Elementary School – PSE was Harris’s first school here in Kansasand they’re still helping him! If Scout is going to go to class with Harris, she needs school time. PSE has been invaluable. Scout has visited multiple classes and the library.
Rob Sight Ford Dealership – She made many friends so they’ll probably make a sale, someday soon I hope.
Christ Church Anglican – All are Indeed, Welcome! She helped teach Sunday School. Matt 25:40 “I tell you the truth. Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me.”
Thanks KC Metro! Watch for us. We’re out there (in training).
FYI: I always carry a bag stuffed with Nature’s Miracle, poop bags, paper towels, water, treats and toys (so glad we haven’t needed it).
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I frequently listen to NPR. Especially on Friday mornings because of StoryCorps.
StoryCorps is a project that “records the lives of everyday Americans.” They are incredible stories – usually family members interviewing other family members. These stories are being collected and archived by the Library of Congress. Some of them have been gathered into different anthologies and published. Some of them have been converted to DVDs. Some of them have been animated and posted here.
The story I’ve embedded below is particularly relevant to this project. Joshua Littman is a 12-year old boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. He is interviewing his mother. Although it’s Joshua asking the questions, the interview gives a fascinating look into the mind of an Aspy kid. Good stuff!
Q&A from StoryCorps on Vimeo.
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Kids with Asperger’s are usually considered quite intelligent. Harris is no exception. Before being diagnosed with Asperger’s he was diagnosed as Gifted. In other words, Harris is smart enough to know that he’s different and that, although his peers are kind, invitations to parties or sleepovers are . . . well . . . they aren’t. Harris knows there should be friends in his life but the making of them, and the keeping of them, is a formidable challenge.
Harris has had wonderful support from our school system (Blue Valley) and from Mike Sumler at the Joshua Center, a non-profit advocacy center for children and families on the Autism Spectrum. His councilors and teaching teams have helped him better grasp social interaction and figure out the “norms” of conversation. I swear this kid understands feelings and motivations better than most adults, so when he wants to talk about how he’s doing and what he needs, I listen.
When the puppy was offered to us, Kevin and I didn’t tell the kids there was a “for real” dog out there. We played the What If game instead. Cameron, our oldest, pointed out college was 2 years away. “I’m almost out of here. Do what you want,” he said. Our youngest son, Kellen, surprised us both by stating that he didn’t feel he was ready for the responsibility of raising a dog. Wha?? Just when you thought you knew them.
And I thought I’d known Harris until he came into my bedroom while I was folding clothes and shared his heart.
“I just want another chance,” he said and tears came into his eyes. “I don’t think our family pets like me very much. They don’t sit with me. I’d like to have a puppy. I’d try hard and I’d raise her and teach her and house train her. We’d spend time together and I could talk to her. She wouldn’t mind if I told her about my ideas. She’d be my friend.” He took a deep breath. “And I’d call her Scout.”
All I could think to say to this outpouring was, “Why Scout?”
Harris smiled. “After Jean Louise Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird,” he said. “I really like that story and my dog will be like Scout. She’ll be brave.” Harris thought for a minute. “And she’ll be smart.” He tilted his head. “And she’ll probably get into trouble sometimes.”
So I could either laugh or cry and my son wanted a friend. I remembered that wonderful quote from To Kill a Mockingbird (one of my favorite reads too). It’s when Atticus tells Jem the meaning of courage: “When you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.”
Harris has had the odds stacked against him. Every day he faces a world he doesn’t understand – a world that judges and censors him for being him. To me, the fact that he daily meets this world with a smile, a wicked sense of humor, and without relinquishing who he is, shows a staggering amount of courage. Now he’ll have a brave companion to share the challenges with.
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I mentioned in a previous post (The Boy Who Doesn’t Run) how much Harris dislikes “outdoor activities”. Yard work isn’t a big hit either, although that’s got nothing to do with Asperger’s and everything to do with being a kid. Last weekend was rather nice. We’ve had a long, cold, wet and snowy winter and early spring, so it was time to jump on the annual pruning, trimming and bagging. This is usually accompanied by intense whining and inventive procrastination. But we had Scout with us. For her, the idea of picking up sticks and pulling up grasses is heaven. When you’ve got such an enthusiastic work partner, time and toil fly.
So, what about this weekend? It’s been gorgeous. Temps in the 70s. Gentle breezes from the West. In my childhood, days like these would cause my mom to say, “Go outside and blow the stink off you.” And we would. She wouldn’t see us again until the street lights came on. This was definitely a “stink blowing” weekend in Kansas. We started by playing the Scout, Come game – an early training exercise that involves many kisses and much bacon (turkey bacon). We humans sit on the grass in a rough circle. By turn, we call to Scout. When she comes to us she receives her treats. She was very quick on the uptake and began running to us in order without being called. Clever Puppy! So, we had to start calling randomly. Then Harris ate all the bacon.
It was a lot of fun spent OUTSIDE! With tired legs and a full belly, on both Master and Puppy, Harris pulled out his latest read (Scott Westerfeld’s Leviathan), and plopped on the grass. Scout crawled into his lap and the afternoon got peaceful.
Afterword: It’s 4:30 on Sunday afternoon. There’s been much running about and frisbee today. Nice times, so we’ve told the boys they can get on computer or Wii if they’d like to. Harris’s response? “Okay, but I’m taking my girl for a walk first.”
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I’ve been worried that Scout will connect with me more than Harris. Our Airedale, Ensign, doggedly follows me about the house. 
(To know the meaning of doggedly watch our daily routine.) It seems he’s afraid I’ll go off without him and eat garbage or sniff dog butts. Silly Airedale. He dearly loves the entire family, but I am his alpha. And why wouldn’t I be? I taught Ensign everything he knows including that adorable lunge at the mailman.
This is why we’ve insisted Harris handle Scout’s care – the feeding, brushing, walking, house-breaking. This is why Scout sleeps in Harris’ room. And I’ll tell you, for a kid who loved to sleep until noon, he hasn’t once complained about the 6:30 AM puppy potty calls. You see, devotion on one side can lead to devotion on the other. Hard work has rewards.
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Harris hates to run. And he doesn’t like sports – of any kind. When Harris was in second grade we pretty much gave up on pushing baseball, soccer, or tennis. Nobody was having any fun. It worried Kevin and me that Harris didn’t like to be outside, that he didn’t like to be active. We’re far from triathletes here at the Bailey house, but we do try to stay healthy. When told it’s “an outside day” Harris brings a book and reads through the kite flying or the frisbee throwing or the backyard whiffle ball games. We love that he’s a reader, but sometimes you’ve got to put the book down and move. Since I’m being honest here, I’ll tell you, we thought Harris was just plan lazy.
When Harris was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (in third grade), we needed to embrace and understand a whole gamut of symptoms, issues and actions. Harris wasn’t lazy. Harris isn’t lazy. Harris, like many folks on the Autism Spectrum, has Vestibular Complications. What’s that mean? It means he gets dizzy. He looses balance. In his own words: “Sometimes I don’t feel connected to the earth.”
Think about it. When you’re coming off a 2 week bender do you want someone insisting you go out and play catch? Yeah. Didn’t think so.
Harris will walk (and hike) and we figured the need to exercise Scout would give him a great opportunity to get outside. Little did we know we’d get a bit more. He’s hardly gazelle-like, but it made this mother smile.
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Scout has joined the family. All the human components were immediately taken by her friendly nature and adorable face. This is why God made puppies so puppy-like. How could any feeling human put something so adorable in a sack with a brick? Thus puppies survive.
She met Ensign, the resident Airedale, out on the front lawn. It was the most common ground we could find that was reasonable. Scout spotted Ensign first and thought: “Hey, there’s a dog. Cool.” She ran towards him. He, being a terrier, noticed a small, furry thing, rushing towards him. He lunged. Not in ferocity, just in curiousity. Scout put on the brakes and retreated to the safety of Harris.
So, moment #1 was a success. Ensign was thrilled and intrigued by her. Scout felt Harris was her champion and sanctuary.
They’ve worked it all out. Ensign is fascinated. Scout is aloof. (Please don’t fret. Ensign is receiving enormous love and validation as befits his rank as senior member.)
Scout’s introduction to the cat went a little differently. Owen (our rescued Flame Point Siamese who suffers from Mega-colon – don’t ask), has been horrified at the addition of another D-O-G. Yet, he can’t seem to stay away. There have been frequent trips to sniff her and then glare at us in rebuke, but Owen loves Ensign and we are sure he will come around. Cats need more time to adapt to change, just as Aspy kids need more time to adapt. And we are a family adjusted to patient understanding.
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We, the Bailey family, are getting a dog. Why, you ask? Good question. We already have a dog. And a cat. And 2 hamsters. And a gerbil. But we are getting a dog, a second dog, and expanding the brood at Casa de Bailey. A dear friend, Dan Schwabauer, intrepid creator of the One Year Adventure Novel, had a moment of relaxed vigilance with his female Yorkshire Terrier. She managed to enjoy a spaghetti dinner and glass of Chianti with the Shih Tzu next door, and . . . well . . . we get a puppy.
If you know us, you’re probably thinking this is a lame April Fool’s joke. A Shorkie? In the Bailey household? Well *face goes red* it’s true. You see, my husband and I like real dogs. Dogs that can carry the newspaper and the newspaper boy. Dogs that can sniff a visitor’s crotch without having to jump up. Dogs that don’t need clothes. And Scout? Well, she’s a Shorkie.
Ah, but there’s a reason behind the madness. You see, our middle son, Harris, has Asperger’s Syndrome, a high-functioning form of Autism. Scout is going to be his dog. He will be responsible for her. He will train her. He will be her everything. And she (hopefully) will be his companion, his focal point, his therapy dog.
Here’s the quick FAQ:
Q: You really think you can train a therapy dog?
A: Yes. The “why we think so” is another post.
Q: What if she doesn’t train to it?
A: Then she will just have to be a beloved family pet.
Q: Is Harris really ready for this? What if he gets bored after a week?
A: Harris is an incredibly responsible boy. If you understand the rules-oriented, black & white reasoning of an Aspy kid, you’ll know what I’m talking about. And if he does happen to get bored, or if Scout becomes a stress to him, instead of a comfort, see the answer above.
Q: Is this Shorkie breed a good fit for this line of “work”?
A: You never know what you’re going to get. There are reasons we like the idea of a smaller dog for Harris. Once again, that is another post. I have spent time with Scout’s mom and she is the mellowest, most intelligent, non-barkingest Yorkshire Terrier I know. Okay. She’s the only Yorkshire Terrier I know. But she’s impressive. I’ve not met the father, but from the evidence, he’s a scoundrel. Hasn’t helped out at all. We’re hoping Scout can rise above that. Here is a bit about the temperament of these two breeds.
Yorkshire Terrier: Brave, Loyal, Clever. A true Terrier. Eager for Adventure. Owner must provide Gentle Leadership.
Shih Tzu: Alert, Happy, Hardy, Playful. Likes to be with People. A Lap Dog. Owner must provide Strong Leadership.
We understand these breeds can develop Small Dog Syndrome, but we’re not nice people, so I don’t think we have to worry.
I’ll be blogging about this adventure often – how we are trying to help Harris with his Aspergers by raising and training a dog that can be responsive to our son’s needs. I hope you’ll follow our progress. It’s a new world for us and we’d like your company. I promise to be as transparent as I can. Ask questions if you want. Give advice if you think you can help. Negative comments or scorn can be kept to yourself.
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The SCBWI-NY Winter Conference has come and, too quickly, gone. I had a grand time roaming the city, but had even more fun sharing viral marketing and promotional information with my fellow SCBWI members. For me, the most interesting part of gathering that data was the “wee little survey” results. I had hoped I might get 25 – 30 of you to respond. After all, the idea for the On Reading and Books questionnaire was rather last minute on my part. But, over 120 of you responded and that is just incredible! Before I share the results, I must say “Thank You” to all who participated.
To the Brothers Cook, the Brothers Gephart, the Sisters Peek, the Siblings Minns, the Sanger Duo and Freckles McYoungest – Huge Hugs and Thanks.
The families Brown, Stilphen, Johnson and Mattson also took part and the Lovely Alexis Ceule didn’t just rope in her kids but other kids as well. Kudos to you all.
To Dan Schwabauer and his OYAN (One Year Adventure Novel) students – applause and love. I’m humbled by your willingness to help a virtual stranger. I could tell when word of the survey spread among you because the user tally jumped and respondents skewed older. Thank you for taking the time and showing your love of books and reading. You’re wonderful.
To Mrs. Sanger and the 5th grade kids from Staunton, Virginia, not to mention the computer teacher who brought down the firewalls long enough to let the kids take the survey and the other 5th grade teachers who agreed it could be fun and let their students take part – Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your kids were honest, endearing and fun. What joy when I saw them hit the graphs.
Now, to share with you what you taught me, and at least 300 other writers, authors and illustrators, in New York.
I hope I haven’t missed anyone with my heartfelt “Thanks.” Please know I appreciate your help. Since I didn’t collect emails or links from participants I can’t make sure. If you stumbled upon the survey and took it, WOW, you’re awesome. More love to come later in the week.
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